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Refrigerator Door This is a the place to find student examples of exemplary work. I'll try to add to this continually as we proceed through the semester. Annette Petrillo Body Paragraph Four Edna's spiritual awakening is also illustrated by her recognition of her unhappiness. When Edna accepted Robert's offer to go to the beach, she did so because she finally recognized that she was missing out on the happiness life has to offer. <<<GOOD START TO PARAGRAPH She was confused at first because she did not understand the contradictory feelings of obligation to her husband as opposed to her own need for happiness. However, after meeting Robert, she started to awaken to her own spiritual “self.” She accepted his offer even though it created turmoil within her; for the first time, she thought of herself and her own happiness. A certain light was beginning to dawn dimly within her, --the light which, showing the way, forbids it. At that early period it served but to bewilder her […] In short, Mrs. Pontellier was beginning to realize her position as an individual to the world within and about her”<<< (544). The “light that was beginning to dawn within her” was her soul becoming aware of the fact that she too – like her husband – deserved to be happy.<<<NICE Accepting Robert's offer was an opportunity to put herself first for a change, and was a step toward awakening spiritually and making herself happy. Her days at the beach brought her happiness as well as the new relationship which developed with Robert. These happy experiences with Robert were sharply contrasted by the time she spent with her married friends, Mr. and Mrs. Ratignolle, which made Edna feel dead inside. When leaving the home of Mr. and Mrs. Ratignolle, for example, Edna was painfully aware of the empty and monotonous void that domestic life created.<<<NICE SET UP She even felt sympathy for Madame Ratignolle.<<<COLON? “Edna felt depressed rather than soothed after leaving them. >>>START QUOTE HERE>>>She was moved by a kind of commiseration for Madame Ratignolle, --a pity for that colorless existence which never uplifted its possessor beyond the region of blind contentment, in which no moment of anguish ever visited her soul, in which she would never have the taste of life's delirium” (578). Edna's recognition of the depression (unhappiness) she felt when leaving the home of her friends was clearly part of her spiritual awakening. She now had the ability to recognize the other side of herself. She felt sympathy for their “colorless existence” as she too had experienced the feeling of “blind contentment” on many occasions as she went through life blindly and unable to recognize her unhappiness. The “delirium” that a new start would cause until she achieved the happiness she sought, was a small price to pay when she considered her own needs as a human being. She deserved to be happy and was willing to sacrifice whatever was necessary on the road to her spiritual fulfillment. Work Cited Chopin, Kate. “The Awakening ”<<<ITALICS AND PERIOD The Norton Anthology American Literature. Vol. C. Eds. Nina Baym ET AL. New York, New York: W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2007. 535- 625. Print<<<PERIOD Kaitlyn Zedalis Body Paragraph #4 The conversation between Madame Ratignolle and Edna at the pigeon house illustrates how late nineteenth American century culture opposed Edna's awakening. <<<GREAT IDEA FOR A PARAGRAPH Madame Ratignolle begins the conversation by asking Edna where she intends to keep her husband and sons in such a small house; the thought had not even crossed her mind that the children and Mr. Pontellier were not welcome in the pigeon house.<<<GREAT READING OF THIS INCIDENT In her eyes it was just assumed that Edna would want her family joining her. In reality, Edna plans on keeping this house as her own personal space. <<<YES -- YOU KEEP THINKING THROUGH THE RAMIFICATIONS AND THUS MAKE YOUR POINT CLEARER. Upon receiving this knowledge Madame Ratignolle suggests Edna invite Mademoiselle Reisz to come live with HER. Edna responds by saying, “I shouldn't want her always with me” (609). Edna enjoys the freedom of being alone and doing what she chooses. <<<TRANSITION TO NEXT SENTENCE? EXPLANATION OF WHAT THIS COMMENT MEANS?>>> Madame Ratignolle tells Edna that society will look down on her for being a woman living alone. She advises Edna, “to be a little careful while living here alone” (609). Living alone was a major part of Edna's awakening as an individual. Before, all she had been was Mrs. Pontellier, the doting wife and mother. Her awakening allowed her to explore who she is as an individual and her personal interests, like drawing AND WALKING.<<<GOOD WORK >>>NEW PARAGRAPH>>> SEXUALITY? Madame Ratignolle also expresses her concern over protecting Edna's reputation in regards to her visits with Arobin. She says, “Well, the reason—you know how evil-minded the world is—someone was talking of Alcee Arobin visiting you. Of course, it wouldn't matter if Mr. Arobin had not such a dreadful reputation. Monsieur Ratignolle was telling me that his attentions alone are considered enough to ruin a woman's name” (609-610). Madame Ratignolle shares with Edna that people having been talking about the time she has been spending with Arobin. In Edna's eyes, she is doing nothing wrong. She is merely expressing her sexual freedom. Madame Ratignolle and Edna's peers see their relationship as inappropriate, especially considering the fact that Arobin has a reputation that is far from prudish. Edna knows that all the time she is spending with Arobin tarnishes her reputation but she finds that fulfilling her sexual awakening takes priority. Chopin, Kate. The Awakening. Ed. Nina Baym. The Norton Anthology of American Literature . 7th ed. Vol. C. Boston: W. W. Norton and Company, 2007. 535-625. Print. FINE WORK HERE MS. ZEDALIS. CLEAR WORKING OUT OF THE MEANING OF PARTICULAR INCIDENT. ENJOYED READING YOUR THINKING Denise Marando Becoming educated is another important part of attaining respectability in Ragged Dick. This idea is conveyed when Frank <<<WHITNEY tells Dick, “I should like to see you getting on. There isn't much chance of that if you don't know how to read and write” (25). Frank's comment suggests that reading and writing, the fundamentals of education, are essential to having respectability, <<<DASH? or as he puts it “getting on.” Not only does Frank tell Dick that he needs to become educated in order to attain respectability, but he also helps Dick to realize why this is so. Dick believes that obtaining an office job will allow him to gain respectability “I really wish I could get something else to do [. . .] I'd like to be a office boy and learn business, and grow up 'spectable” (26), and Frank explains to him that with an education he will be able to accomplish his wish. He tells Dick:
Frank's counsel communicates<<<SHARP WORDING HERE -- GOOD JOB to Dick that his success in attaining respectability hinges on becoming educated, because hard work,<<<NO COMMA without an education is not enough to get him a respectable job. Having been brought to this realization – “I never thought how awful ignorant I was till now” (36) –<<<GREAT USE OF DESCRIPTIVE CLAUSE Dick shares his rented room with Fosdick in exchange for reading, writing, and other lessons and tells him, “I don't want to be ignorant. I didn't use to care, but I do now. I want to grow up 'spectable (68). It is clear from both of Dick's comments that before Frank's explaining to him, he did not realize that becoming educated is pivotal to attaining respectability. This importance of education is later confirmed when Dick is greeted with the chance to secure his dream job. During his interview with Mr. Rockwell, Dick is not only able to write his name legibly, but he is also able to speak respectably and affirm that he knows “something of arithmetic” (113). Frank's insistence that, and his explanation why,<<<GETS A BIT UNWIELDY Dick must acquire an education if he is to gain respectability and the fact that the education that he acquires qualifies him for his dream job convey the notion that becoming educated is an important part of attaining respectability.<<<THIS SENTENCE NEEDS SOME SMOOTHING OUT Is education believed to be as important to “getting on” today as it was during Ragged Dick's time?<<<THIS IS AN ESSENTIAL QUESTION FOR OUR TIME, AND AS A EDUCATOR, AN IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR YOU TO CONSIDER Works Cited Alger, Horatio, Jr. Ragged Dick . Ed. Hiledegard Hoeller. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2008. 3-115. Print. FINE START HERE DENISE. THE PATIENT WORKING OUT OF YOUR IDEA IS LOGICAL AND CLEAR. Well focused topic sentences for Paragraph #5
© 2008 David Bordelon
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