Proofreading
Checklist | Words to Avoid | Sample Sentences | Cohesion: Transitions Between Sentences and
Between Paragraphs | Make Your Computer Talk to You
Often confused with merely checking grammar and spelling, this is the careful attention to words
and punctuation that separates the profound from the pedestrian (hint:
go for profound). After you've completed your revision -- which focused
on adding ideas, deleting wayward thoughts, adding explanations -- it's
time to focus on the words: the way that you'll communicate with the
reader.
Top two suggestions for proofreading? 1) slowly read your work out
loud: if you sprain your tongue on a particular phrase, that's a sign
it needs work, and 2) repeat #1 . . . repeatedly. For an interesting
take on the kind of attention necessary when proofreading, see Pico
Iyer's In Praise of the Humble Comma.
Proofreading Check
List
- Delete: Take out any words which aren’t needed
- Clarify: Change any phrases that do not read clearly.
- Engage reader: Add analogies, descriptions,
examples, sharp phrasing to help readers “see” your point.
- Cohesion: Use repetition to keep reader
focused. Supply introductory phrases to quotes and use
transitions to move readers through your ideas.
Words
and Proofreading – it's not just commas anymore.
Use the following chart for suggestions of words to
avoid in academic writing.
You/we |
This
suggests you're speaking directly to the reader. But what if your
reader has no problems communicating? It can also lead to pronoun
problems.
Instead use
people, a person, some, they, males, females, English professors, etc. |
a lot |
Too
general for formal essays. Be specific.
Instead use
many, often, several, etc. |
One |
Avoid
when using to refer to a person.
Instead use
A person, a man, a women, people, etc. |
don't,
won't |
Avoid
contractions in academic writing: a bit too informal.
Instead use
do not, etc. |
the fact
that |
A bit
wordy – one of those empty phrases that merely slow down the reader.
Instead use
Actually, you can usually completely eliminate this phrase |
Being that |
Awkward
wording – sounds okay in oral speech, but usually doesn't work in
standard written English
Instead use
Since, Because |
in which |
Can be
awkward
Instead use
which or reword phrase |
What to avoid
Peer reviewer, asking a question about a particular sentence: “What did
you mean here?”
Student writer: “I don’t know. Honestly I just wrote”
The lesson? Write consciously: know why each word and/or sentence is
included.
Before
proofreading
Those experiences in
Vietnam that Norman Booker could not get out of him, by simply telling
a story, ate him inside, "three years later hanged himself in the
locker room of a YMCA" (155). |
After
proofreading
Because he could not
tell his story, the demons from Vietnam ate him inside: as the narrator
sadly notes "three years later he hanged himself in the locker room of
a YMCA" (155). |
Which sentence is more persuasive? As noted in the
proofreading comments above, it's often the words, not the punctuation,
that needs work.
Wordiness
Sometimes, a single word can mess up a sentence:
These examples are from two different essays
By making up stories about everything that
happened in Vietnam aids O'Brien in making sense of everything that
still doesn't seem like reality to him. |
By taking this trip
back to Vietnam was a way to relieve his conscious of guilt for a
friend's death that he felt was his fault. |
In both of these cases, the "By" that opens the sentence
ends up causing confusion. The solution? Easy: delete it.
Transitions within
paragraphs
Let’s start with an example
Another way O’Brien truth is what is remembered
and imagined is that imagination can be an extremely powerful aspect of
a story. O’Brien insists that the unimaginable aspects of a story is
the “truth” and the normal aspects are there to make the story
believable. Since the war was so reluctant normal ideas are necessary
to a story. “Often the crazy stuff is true and the normal stuff isn’t,
because the normal stuff is necessary to make you believe the truly
incredible craziness” (O’Brien 71). In fundamental nature it would be
difficult to believe a war story unless there are practical
characteristics that go collectively in the story. In truth nothing
really has to be true, however, in essence these actions may have
happened one time or another during the way, it may not have been
O’Brien’s platoon but somewhere during the war these instances
happened. “Tim O’Brien takes the act of trying to reveal and understand
the uncertainties about the war one step further, by looking at it
through the imagination” (Kaplan 383). According to O’Brien, these
aspects are very well needed to make people feel the real drama of the
war. |
What’s the main point of this paragraph? Can
you “follow” this writer’s argument?
Remember that when moving from sentence to
sentence, readers must be able to follow your logic. This is
accomplished by using transitions. The “This” in the previous
sentence illustrates one way of knitting together your thinking/writing
– and is an important word to keep in mind. By referring back
to “follow your logic,” the “This” acts as a bridge, a connection
between the two points you’re making in your sentences.
Another way to make a connection is to use words like “another” (for a
list of such words, see below). Connections can also be made
by repetition, as in this sentence where I repeat the word “connection”
from the previous sentence. Using repetition and transition
words keep readers focused on the main topic of your paragraph/idea,
which in turn makes it easier for readers to follow your logic.
By now you should be wondering, “well, how do I come up
with effective transitions?” Easy. Working one paragraph at a
time, develop/brainstorm a list of synonyms or words/phrases associated
with the focus of that paragraph (Example? In a paragraph on
“work” you might include words like job, wages, time-clock, employer,
employee, labor, etc.). Keep this list handy as you
revise/proofread, and be sure to insert these words throughout the
paragraph.
Adding a point:
furthermore, besides, finally, in addition to, for example
Emphasis: above all, indeed, in
fact, in other words, most important, in particular
Time: then, afterwards, eventually,
next, immediately, meanwhile, previously, already, often, since then,
now, later,
usually,
Cause and Effect: as a result,
therefore, thus, since, because of this, consequently
Examples: such as, for example, for
instance, one example, as an illustration, in particular
Contrast: but, however, in contrast,
instead, nevertheless, on the other hand, though, still, unfortunately,
on the contrary, yet
Similarity: like, also, likewise,
similarly, as
Compare: also, similarly, likewise,
as well, both, in the same way
To concede a point: certainly,
granted, of course, no doubt
Transitions between
paragraphs
Between paragraphs, the best technique is to repeat a word or idea from
the previous paragraph. As usual, this is best illustrated
with an example. Take a look at the following:
(1) It’s these kinds of behaviors that
make a person unlikable.
(2) In addition to his character flaws, the result of Sammy’s “heroic”
deed make him a realistic hero.
Without even reading the paragraph 1, you can tell the
subject of it was _________. That’s the advantage of
repetition between paragraphs: you keep reminding the reader of your
focus which means you keep reminding the reader of your argument, which
means you keep your reader happy.
Make Your Computer Talk To You
What I find most difficult with proofreading is catching my own
errors. That makes sense: I know what I want to say so I
“magically” insert missing words or make corrections as I’m reading my
own work.
Last year I started using the text to speech function in Word to help
me undo this magic. It reads highlighted text out loud and
helps me “hear” rough spots or grammatical errors. It has
saved me from much embarrassment in emails and letters. The
instructions to set this up for Word are on the web (Links to an
external site.). If you don’t have Word, Macs have this same
capability and there are several other programs on the web (Links to an
external site.) that will do this as well. Give it a shot.
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© David Bordelon 2015 |