According to previous students, these steps result in a basic draft paragraph.
You do not have to follow these steps -- if you write best jogging in place while watching reruns of Gilligan's Island, go right ahead. Still, you might want to review these steps for suggestions on how to get started.
1 decide on connection
Problems in education > economic/funding
2 choose quotes
When choosing quotes, consider grouping them into the following categories: 1) Quotes that address a "What" question -- as in "According to the writers, what is the funding problem?" 2) A "Why/how" question -- as in "According to the writers, why is this lack of funding a problem?" or "According to the writers, how does this funding problem hurt students?"
This kind of grouping, and other "Why, What, How" questions, can really help organize a paragraph. For instance, a paragraph can first state "What" the funding problem is, according to the writers, and then move to why the writers think it's a problem.
Notes From Moore
“Once these districts receive corporate handouts, government's failure to provide adequate school funding tends to remain unaddressed.” ( Moore 167-68)
Moore notes that Pizza Hut and other companies try get tie ins to schools (167-68)<<<NOTE THAT EVEN THOUGH THIS IS A SUMMARY, WRITER INCLUDED PAGE NUMBERS. In some cases, corporations even write “lesson plans” (167)
Notes from Barber
“They were increasingly exposed to the informal education of popular opinion, of advertising, of merchandising, of the entertainment industry. Today it is a world whose messages come at our young people from those ubiquitous screens that define modem society and have little to do with anything that you teach” (Barber 285).
3 copy out sample topic sentence
Moore and Barber argue that corporate influence is one of the main problems in education today.
4 incorporate quote (Remember to use the three parts mentioned in I&C -- and check class notes for where this is mentioned in I&C)
Moore believes one problem with such influence is economic. He notes that “Once [. . .] districts receive corporate handouts, government's failure to provide adequate school funding tends to remain unaddressed” (167-68). This failure by the government, Moore suggests, is not visible to the public because corporate America has stepped in to fill the economic void with prepackaged curriculums that advertise their own products (167).
5 connect to another writer
The problem with this, Barber notes, is that corporations interfere with education. He writes that instead of focusing on “civics” and science, corporations force students to be “increasingly exposed to the informal education of popular opinion, of advertising, of merchandising, of the entertainment industry” (285).
6 sum up idea of writers.
Both Moore and Barber suggest that our current emphasis on capitalism – letting the markets rule – means that our students will less likely be rulers, and more likely be followers.
Moore and Barber argue that corporate influence is one of the main problems in education today. Moore believes one problem with such influence is economic. He notes that “Once [. . .] districts receive corporate handouts, government's failure to provide adequate school funding tends to remain unaddressed” (167-68). This failure by the government, Moore suggests, is not visible to the public because corporate America has stepped in to fill the economic void with prepackaged curriculums that advertise their own products (167). The problem with this, Barber notes, is that corporations interfere with education. He writes that instead of focusing on “civics” and science, corporations force students to be “increasingly exposed to the informal education of popular opinion, of advertising, of merchandising, of the entertainment industry” (285). Both Moore and Barber suggest that our current emphasis on capitalism – letting the markets rule – means that our students will less likely be rulers, and more likely be followers.
This is similar to the kind of writing you'll be doing in your own essays. The writer could add specific examples of corporate influence when she revises, but for now, this is a good start for a rough draft.