Dr. Bordelon's English II On Campus

General Revision Suggestions

Overview on Revision

Adapted from The Concise Guide to Writing

The goal of revision is simple: making your essay more accurately express what is on your mind to another person. You'll find that even though you've spent hours planning and writing a first (or second, or third) draft, your essay will still need work if your goal is (as it should be) to fully and vividly communicate your ideas. You have two choices: 1) give up and watch reruns of Myth Busters, or 2) roll up your sleeves and get to work. Surprisingly, experienced writers know that good writing takes many drafts, and thus know that the real writing doesn't begin until the first drafts are out of the way. Only after they get their thinking down on paper can they delete, move, rephrase, and add material in order to say what they want to say more clearly and thoughtfully.

While a first draft (or zero draft) is a time for low expectations, when you shift from drafting to revision, you move into a different zone: you're now in "high expectations" time. Don't be satisfied with what's written: keep pushing yourself to make it more interesting and more specific. In fact, I've found that the students who are sure that "this is the best paper I've written" often need more work on their essays, while the students who aren't fully satisfied with their work often do well.

What these latter students have is a positive attitude towards writing. They realize that essays aren't "born" (i.e. written in one or two sittings), but are "made" by attention to details. This positive attitude is crucial when you look in despair at your first draft and think "Uh oh!" Don't just give up if you think most of your essay isn't any good (most writers feel this way).

Writing Tip 1

Students tell me that dividing revision into a series of steps works much better than just sitting down and working on the revision in one sitting.

Start with just your organization, then rest, then work on individual paragraphs, one at a time. This makes the revision process seem less onerous -- it may even make it fun.

Specific Revision Ideas
Follow the steps below to help focus your essay.

  • Clarify and revise your idea and/or thesis statement.
  • Skeleton outline (see Thesis and Topic Sentences)
  • Make sure each paragraph revolves around a particular argument forecasted in your thesis statement.
  • You have to be the "ignorant reader;" thus as you reread your essay, bombard it with the following questions, and be sure your sentences answer them:

    "What in the work backs up the point I'm making here?"
    "Why did the author choose this way of saying it?" (tone of words [angry, melancholy, excited, etc.])
    "How does this quote back up my point?"
    "What about the symbolism/connotations etc. of this word?"
    "Why do I think this is important?"
    "What does this compare with in real life/history/psychology/economics/etc.?"

This anticipates the kinds of things a careful, respectful, thoughtful, intelligent reader (that's me) will be looking for.

Writing Tip 2
When typed, a paragraph should roughly cover 1/3 to 1/2 of a page. Any more, and the reader probably needs a break; any less, and the reader isn't satisfied.

This, of course, overlooks the occasional one sentence zinger paragraph.

Work on explaining the reasoning behind your choice of examples. Remember that the ignorant reader has no idea how that quote from "Gimpel" shows that he is really not foolish. It's your job to explain exactly why and how you think that quote proves that he's not really the town fool.

Use "Real Life" Comparisons

When making connections/explanations from the example to your argument, try comparing the quote/situation to "real life" – how do people, in general, react to such events/statements. Example? Okay. In an essay on Sammy (of "A&P" fame) as an everyday hero, you can compare his character flaws with the apparent absence of such flaws in a stereotypical hero like a New York firefighter (of course, you would note how the first person point of view helps reveal Sammy's flaws). Since ignorant readers don't usually grasp your explanation the first time, you need to compensate by explaining how your quote supports your argument from several different perspectives. Keep in mind that this – the explanation – is the basis of your argument, and the quality of your argument, not the work you put into the essay, or your great examples, is what determines your grade.

Revision Ideas: Odds and Ends

Introductions
you should always develop a new introduction, one that leads reader into your topic. Try addressing the general topic of your essay and working down to the specific story. For instance, in an essay on the theme of history in The Things They Carried, you could discuss, in general, how most people view history. Or what about the personal? Try linking an incident in your personal life (or a reminiscence about a relative) to the main point of your essay. You can also start with a key line from the work of literature you are writing about, or focus on a specific character. In short, be inventive – avoid the "yawn" intro.

Conclusion
Ditto for conclusions. Avoid merely summing up your main points (sure to invoke the yawn reflex). Try to answer or refer back to your introduction – this creates a kind of "circle" for the reader and results in a very satisfying read.

 

 

© David Bordelon