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Dr. Bordelon's The Short Story: On Campus |
Refrigerator Door This is a the place to find student examples of exemplary work. I'll try to add to this continually as we proceed through the semester. Body Paragraph 1 Ryan Furey The narrator’s emotional coldness is also symbolized by the blizzard itself. The term "blizzard" alone very much lends itself to a feeling of tumultuous unpredictability; there is a concrete, unmoving nature to a heavy snowfall’s constitution, certainly coinciding with the narrator’s apathetic indifference and pessimistic demeanor.<<<NICE JOB OF SETTING UP A DEFINITION TO WORK FROM Most startling, the narrator makes clear on several occasions that he is detached from society and humankind in general — making him as cold and harsh as a blizzard — when he speaks of his fleeting relationships with women.<<<NICE SET UP FOR YOUR EXAMPLE In one notable instance, he nonchalantly offers up the line "I’d pay for the abortion" (DeMarinis 121) when speaking to a pregnant girlfriend he had planned on leaving, seemingly showing an entire lack of remorse towards the relationship and even less concern towards the wellbeing of his unborn child. Uncaring as he may be in this instance, the narrator perhaps exhibits greater emotional coldness at the conclusion of "Horizontal Snow." Despite spending considerable time with Lot and Willie, and witnessing the birth of Jesus Dakota, the narrator refers to the couple as "just a ride" (DeMarinis 122) when questioned by a truck driver. While his true feelings might remain unknown, the narrator certainly gives off an air of apathy and detachment very much in tune with the roaring blizzard that takes place during the events of the story.<<<FINE CONCLUSION TO WRAP UP YOUR PARAGRAPH Works Cited DeMarinis, Rick. "Horizontal Snow." Voice of America. New York: W.W. Norton, 1991. Print. STRONG WORK TO START WITH MR. FUREY. © 2008 David Bordelon From previous semesters Body Paragraph 1 The narrator's emotional coldness is also symbolized by the blizzard itself. In such weather, all growth is impossible. I think it was important that the snow was worst at times there should have been a change in the narrator, as when he was in the back of the truck with Lot 's wife while she gave birth. The title of the story is mentioned here: "[w] ind from Canada mauled the truck. It howled in the wooden slats of the camper. I looked out the door and saw the blizzard, the horizontal snow" (118). This was an emotional scene, watching the miracle of life, yet the narrator remained devoid of any feelings. The snow comes up again at the end of the story, when the narrator switches rides, opting to leave Lot and his family behind. Having taken nothing from that, having been too cold to grow from the experience, he seemed destined to repeat the same mistake as he and his new companion ""roared out into the blinding storm" (123). The adjective choice here was clever as well, as the blizzard prevents vision,<<<DASH OR COLON WOULD WORK BETTER HERE the emotional coldness of the narrator kept him from seeing things as the opportunity to grow they presented him. SHARP AND SUCCINCT. The flashbacks show a cold man who lacks emotions. When he remembers the relationships he has had with women, he is devoid of emotion. He recalls leaving his college sweetheart,<<< COLON ? AS PHRASED, INTRO SEEMS LIKE IT WILL SET UP A PARENTHETICAL QUOTE " "A QUICK PROOF QUOTE OFTEN SEPARATED WITH DASHES" " AND YOUR THOUGHT WILL BE COMPLETED AFTER THE QUOTE BUT IN THE SAME SENTENCE. DOESN'T TURN OUT THAT WAY. "I'd hurt her. I was aware of that, but my own feelings were in cold storage. I observed her pain the way a surgeon observes the pain of his patient: with compassion but without involvement or remorse" (111). He claims that he feels compassion, but he only recognizes her pain, he does not care that he caused it. This is not compassion, it is observation.<<<GOOD POINT " CONNECT TO EMOTION. He coldly walks away from her without a second thought. He recalls his wife with the same EMOTIONAL? disregard he showed his girlfriend,<<<DEF. COLON HERE. "I would betray my young wife with a farmer's widow" (115), and does not even refer to his wife by name. She is nameless and irrelevant.<<<GREAT OBSERVATION He cheats on her with no regard for her feelings and seems unaffected by her leaving. His wife could stay or go; it would not matter to him because he would continue to be unfaithful and uncaring to the women in his life. >>>AS HE NOTES LATER IN THE STORY "He would have a string of five girlfriends who lived far away from each other" (116) so it would be easy for him to keep them from finding out about each other. His behavior shows a cold disrespect and total lack of emotion for the women who share his bed. In fact, juggling these five women would be "the most exciting time" (116) of his life. He knows his girlfriends will be hurt if they discover his duplicity but he does not care. Women are for his pleasure; their feelings are irrelevant and inconvenient. >>>MENTION FLASH BACK AGAIN? One of his girlfriends tells him she is pregnant and he recalls that she "broke down, but what could I do? I said I would pay for the abortion" (121). He coldly offers her money and then brushes her off like dirt from his coat.<<<NICE ANALOGY She is a nonentity in his life and so is the baby she is carrying. "Maybe she got the abortion and maybe she didn't. I never found out, nor wanted to" (121). Even the life-changing news of impending fatherhood does not elicit emotion from him. He simply does not care. The memories of his relationships reinforce the fact that he is a cold man who lacks emotion.
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