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Below you'll find sentences from a body
paragraph on Candide.
Focus
on the changes made in explaining the quote from the rough draft to the
revision. Focus of paragraph was on exaggeration in Candide.
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Voltaire is trying to prove that man does terrible
things and does not have this innate
goodness in him. “Just cut off a single rump steak from each
of these ladies,’ he
said, ‘and you’ll have a fine meal. Then if you should need
another, you can com back in
a few days and have as much again; heaven will bless your charitable
action and you will
be saved.’ From this we see an extreme example of Voltaire’s sarcastic
wit and at the
same time a stinging rebuke of the prevailing wisdom of the day.
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After the quote, the writer starts an
explanation, but it seems more is needed. Readers would ask
"how does the quote show exaggeration?"
The revision answers this question.
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exaggeration enables Voltaire to turn one of the most repellent
taboos, cannibalism, into a joke. When Abigail's
captors are starving
under siege, an Imam suggests that they should “'Just cut off
a single
rump steak from each of these ladies,’ he said, ‘and you’ll have a fine
meal. Then if you should need another, you can come back in a
few days
and have as much again; heaven will bless your charitable action and
you will be saved’" (24). First there is the exaggeration of
"Just." This dismissive word makes it seem that crossing the
boundary into zombie land is no big deal. It is "just"
something that has to be done in order to survive, like going to the
supermarket and picking up a rump roast for dinner. The
problem is that instead of a cow, human flesh is on the menu. So the
"just" sets up a ridiculous -- or exaggerated -- response to hunger,
provoking an astonished gasp of laughter from readers. Next
there is the logic of "you can come back in a few days." Like the
offhand "Just," it normalizes the horror of cannibalism, making it seem
like a rational choice during extenuating circumstances. For readers today,
this fits into the gallows humor of jokes about the Donner party and
the serial killer Jeffery Dahmer, more recent incidents of cannibalism
which prove that Voltaire's turn to hyperbole is a well traveled
comedic road. Finally . . . . |
Repetition rules. Note how the repetition of "Just" from the
quote -- and the repetition of exaggerated and a synonym
("ridiculous") keeps, really hammers the stake of the argument into
the ground.
And the humor and . . . is it "zing?" . . . of the writing
shows the reader that there's a pulse behind the cold words of text (or
pulsing pixels, as the case may be). This pulse helps welcome the
reader into the
tent of your argument.
(Can I move away from the "Camping" metaphor now? The forest
is starting to close in around me . . . . Thanks.)
And finally, what would you add to the "Finally"? What other part of the quote could you comment on?
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Explaining Quote Suggestions
Explain how quote is connected to the topic sentence -- focus on the
language used: consider the following
- Repetition, repetition, repetition
- Having a bit of fun with descriptive words to
give your writing a pulse
- crossing the border into zombie land; picking up a rump roast for supper; human flesh is on the menu; well-traveled comedic road
- What's the connotation/symbolism of specific
words?
- Give it a name (exaggeration, fear,
happiness) and explain how the word/s conveys it.
- How does the imagery, tone of the quote/word
create meaning?
- Give it a name (sarcasm, irony, humor) and
explain how the imagery, tone, etc. conveys it.
- What's the psychology/motivation of a character?
- Give it a name (anger, apathetic, docile) and
explain how the quote suggests this.
- Use an analogy to help readers understand what
you're trying to say
- Consider the "Zombie" and supermarket from
the example above.
- "If . . . then" sentence patterns
- What connections to historical events would
deepen a reader's understanding of your argument?
- Donner party; Jeffrey Dahmer
- How could the definition of a specific word
help readers' understand how it proves the point you're making?
To kick you into a sentence that uses one of the techniques listed above, try using a verb from the following list to
shift
into argument.
agree argue
believe charge
claim
comment conclude consider
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criticize declare
describe define
discover
emphasize explain
feels
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illustrate imply indicate
reinforce
reveals
shows
suggests
supports
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Sample sentences might follow these patterns
This ____
suggests
that _______
They indicate the ____
This emphasis on finding ______ suggests that
Supporting this idea of ______ the narrator adds _______
The description reinforces the idea that ______
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© 2017 David Bordelon
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