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How to Plan and Draft a Body Paragraph

Quick Tips | Sample Paragraph | Revising a Paragraph and Adding Sources

Suggestions

Remember that the core of literary writing is the use of quotes. My own planning typically starts off with a typed list of quotes from the story that I can use to support the points I'm making.

• Topic sentence (connects back to thesis and division)
• Definitions/Explanation of topic sentence
• Quotes (intro, quote and explanation -- see below)
• Conclusion

Incorporating Quotes

Three parts to setting up a quote

1. introduce quote and provide context so reader can understand why you're using it -- state the "who said it" and "where/when" of the quote (a word from the verb list above can really help);
2. “insert quote and” (citation);
3. explain how/why quote proves your point – focus on individual words or actions: repetition helps.

Example

Follow the format below for a well argued paragraph:

Paragraph format

1. A main point stated in one sentence: make it an argument/statement

Example topic sentence (Note that it is a claim that needs to be backed up):
Gimpel is not a fool because his desire to avoid conflict is noble.


2. An explanation of any general words or ideas in your main point. In the sentence above, what do you mean by "conflict" and "noble" and how does it prevent someone from being a fool?
   
   Example :
   Instead of stooping to the townspeople's level and arguing with them, Gimpel decides to remain above them. This distancing, especially when contrasted with the cruelty of the pranks played on him, invests Gimpel with a dignity sorely lacking in Frampol's inhabitants.
   
3. Examples or details that support your point (use quotes from the story that illustrate what you are talking about). Remember to preface the quote with an introductory phrase that provides a context for it:
   
   Example :
   Early in the story Gimpel acknowledges his strength, "If I slapped someone he'd see all the way to Cracow." But he softens this harshness by quickly adding, "But I'm not really a slugger by nature. I think to myself, Let it pass" (99).
   Note page number in parenthesis and period after page number.
   
4. After each example ask the following question in your head – "how does this example prove my point?" and "why is this quote important in this paragraph?" – and then answer in your essay. This is where you prove your argument. As a sentence starter, try "This" and then an explanatory word (reveals, implies, illustrates, shows, demonstrates, proves, suggests, defines, supports, or indicates) or a restatement of your example (ex. "Gimpel's reluctance to use his strength") and then an explanatory word to begin your commentary – try using a synonym of the focus word in the topic sentence to make connection to focus of paragraph clear to the reader.
   
   Example :
   Unlike the townspeople, his actions show that Gimpel has a self-awareness which would be lacking in a true fool; a realization that he can change things if he wants. His thoughtfulness suggests a sympathetic mind at work, qualities which, instead of illustrating foolishness, suggest dignity and repose.

or

Gimpel's reluctance to use his strength shows that he is making a conscious decision to act the way he does. A fool merely reacts – Gimpel thinks, and then acts.

5. A sentence to sum up.
   
   Example :
   His good nature proves to the reader that, far from a fool, Gimpel is a wise and kind man.

How to Revise a  Paragraph and Add Sources

Before and after Revision #1| How to incorporate a secondary source | Before and after revision #2

When revising a paragraph or adding sources, you're aiming for two things: explanation and clarity.  The first, explanation, means adding and deleting sentences to make your meaning clear to the "ignorant reader."  And since all readers are ignorant of what you are trying to say, it's your job to experiment and find different ways of presenting your thoughts on paper (or a screen, as the case may be):  "How, exactly, does the quote from the story or outside source prove your point?" "Why do you include this sentence?" "Where do you address the second part of the topic sentence?" These are all the kinds of questions that will prompt you to add explanation. 

The clarity comes in as you whittle down and starting working on the wording of your sentences and placement of punctuation.  Have you set up the quote with context?  Have you properly cited your source?

Here we have a paragraph that was submitted as a final draft. 

Paragraph 1
Sammy is an everyday hero because his character is flawed. He is not perfect, nor does he pretend to be. Just like everyone else in the world, Sammy has his imperfections. This makes him a realistic hero because he is just that-real. He is an ordinary boy with an ordinary job, but he uses his courage to quit his job for the girls that got embarrassed. He would be considered a hero in everyday life.

What's missing in this paragraph are quotes from the story that would provide evidence to support the writer's assertions.  Without specific quotes, the assertions are just that: assertions.  The moral? Be sure to base your assumptions/assertions on quotes.

Let's look at a revised version of the same paragraph -- which includes an outside source.

Revised Paragraph 1 -- with research added

Sammy is an everyday hero because his character is flawed.  Just like everyone else in the world, Sammy has imperfections.  For instance, his chauvinistic view of women marks him as a character in need of an attitude adjustment.  When he poses the question "You never know for sure how girls' minds work (do you really think it's a mind in there or just a little buzz like a bee in a glass jar?)" (15), it's clear that Updike is fashioning a character who is burdened, much like others, with prejudices.  This shows that, just like everyone else in the world, Sammy has imperfections.  Updike, choosing a first person narrator that allows readers to "hear" Sammy's thoughts, puts these imperfections on display.  Yet it is these same flaws that make him a realistic hero. His heroism is not of the rescue-a-woman-from-a-burning-building variety.  Instead, he is an ordinary boy with an ordinary job whose courage forces him to quit his job because of Lengel's treatment of the girls.   In fitting with his ordinary character, he decides to speak against an action that, as Updike notes in an interview "seems suddenly cruel and unethical," (qtd. Murray 34).  In choosing to quit a job over the treatment of people he does not know, Sammy joins the long line of everyday heroes who stand up for others, regardless of the consequences.

Works Cited

Murray, Donald.  "Interview with John Updike." "A&P." Ed. Wendy

Perkins.  Fort Worth, Texas: Harcourt Brace College

Publishers, 1998.  33-37. Print.

Updike, John. "A&P."  Literature: An Introduction to Fiction,

Poetry and Drama. Ed. X. J. Kennedy and Dana Gioia. 

New York: Longman, 2002. 14-19. Print.

This is, quite literally, a revision.  The writer has looked again at what was written, and made the necessary changes (here mainly additions) to make their point clearer.   Much of the original paragraph remains, but this version is more persuasive because it supplies information from the story, and, in particular, provides a more detailed argument.  Pay attention to how the quotes, both from the story and from the source, are set up with context so that readers can understand why they are included -- even before they read them.

For clarity, pay attention to the placement of periods in both the in-text citations and the format of the works cited entries.

Adding a Secondary Source

When incorporating a secondary source, try following the steps below:

1) introduce quote by providing context -- and be sure to include author's name.

That the lesson Sammy learns comes at a cost is also suggested by Robert Luscher who argues that Sammy is

The word "that" often comes in handy. And remember to include the author's name in the sentence ("You just mentioned including the author's name above." "I'm glad you're paying attention.").

2) include quote

"[. . .] beginning to learn lessons of bittersweet triumph" (30).

The square brackets and the ellipsis dots signal the reader that you are including the ellipsis dots because you've taken out some of the material from the secondary source. Note that period goes behind parenthesis.

3) comment on the quote

It is the "bittersweet" that lends the story its depth, transforming a story about walking out on a job to a story about learning the difficult lesson that standing up for your beliefs is seldom rewarded.

4) compose a correct formatted MLA work cited entry

Luscher, Robert M. "A Study of the Short Fiction." "A&P". Ed.

Wendy Perkins.  Fort Worth, Texas: Harcourt Brace

College Publishers, 1998.  30-33. Print.

Revision: Before and After #2

Here we have a paragraph that drifts away a bit from the topic at hand (Sammy's flawed character), and thus needs work with clarity -- and with correctly citing the source.

Paragraph 2
Sammy is an everyday hero because his character is flawed. Traditionally, a hero is a supreme being who always achieves in defeating adversaries and providing a happy ending. In reality, heroes of such epic proportions do not exist. Sammy is a realistic hero because while his intentions are righteous and he acts gallantly, he still fails in getting the girl. A traditional hero would have whisked the girl away, defeated the defeated the bad guy, Lengel, and become the new and most celebrated manager of the A&P. The flaws in Sammy's character are seen clearly when in sticking up for the girls Sammy falters and instead of saying something great he mumbles, “I started to say something that came out ‘fiddle-de-do'.” (18). When Sammy finally makes it outside the girls are gone. Now it is evident that Sammy is a realistic hero because the guy does not always get the girl, and can become tongue-tied just like everyone else.

Revision of Paragraph 2 #4 -- with Secondary Source
Sammy is an everyday hero because his character is flawed. Traditionally, a hero is a supreme being, always succeed in defeating adversaries leaving readers with a happy ending. In reality, heroes of such epic proportions do not exist. Instead, Sammy is a more realistic hero because while his intentions, on the surface, are righteous -- he Lengel "You didn't have to embarrass them" (18) -- his behavior -- calling a customer a "witch" (14), focusing on the girls' body parts -- reveals not a hero but a stereotypical young adult male who has no patience for others and who views women as sex objects.  His flaws are also seen when he tries to respond to Lengel's "It was they who were embarrassing us" (18). Instead of a clever come back, he falters, and mumbles "something that came out ‘fiddle-de-do'” (18). This response humanizes him: we've all had that moment when we need a great come back, but become tongue-tied. These flaws invest his actions with a realism that fits the situation: a young man whose conscience has awakened and who, as the critic Gilbert Porter suggests, "has chosen to live honestly and meaningfully" (66).  In the tradition of the classic unsung America hero who rides out of town, Sammy makes his stand at an American institution -- A&P -- and, according to Ronald E. McFarland, "achieves a certain degree of heroism" (61).

Revision of Paragraph 2 #7 -- with Secondary Source (and more closely proofread)
Sammy is an everyday hero because his character is flawed. Traditionally, a hero is a supreme being who gallantly defeats adversaries. In reality, heroes of such epic proportions do not exist. Instead, Sammy is a more realistic hero because while his intentions seem righteous -- he tells Lengel "You didn't have to embarrass them" (18) -- his behavior -- calling a customer a "witch" (14), focusing on the girls' body parts -- is contemptible.  His flaws are also seen when he tries to respond to Lengel's comment about the conduct of the girls: "It was they who were embarrassing us" (18). Instead of a clever retort, Sammy falters and mumbles "something that came out ‘fiddle-de-do'” (18). This response humanizes him; we've all had that moment when we need a great come back, but became tongue-tied. These flaws invest his actions with a realism that fits the situation.  Sammy's actions reveal a young man whose conscience has awakened and who, as the critic Gilbert Porter suggests, "has chosen to live honestly and meaningfully" (66). Significantly, Sammy makes this decision, and according to Ronald E. McFarland, "achieves a certain degree of heroism" (61), at an A&P, an American institution which symbolizes the kind of mindless obedience that Sammy is fighting.

Works Cited

McFarland, Ronald. "Updike and the Critics: Reflections on

'A&P'." "A&P." Ed. Wendy Perkins.  Fort Worth, Texas:

Harcourt Brace College Publishers, 1998.  56-62. Print.

Porter, M. Gilbert.  "John Updike's 'A&P'; The Establishment and

an Emersonian Cashier."  "A&P." Ed. Wendy Perkins. 

Fort Worth, Texas: Harcourt Brace College Publishers,

1998.  62-66. Print.

Updike, John. "A&P."  Literature: An Introduction to Fiction,

Poetry and Drama. Ed. X. J. Kennedy and Dana Gioia.  New

York: Longman, 2002. 14-19. Print.

Note how the revision both refocused the paragraph on Sammy's flaws, and then added an outside source to support the idea in the paragraph.

© 2010 David Bordelon