From George W. Harris’s Sut
Lovingood. Yarns Spun By A "Nat'ral Born
Durn'd Fool. Warped And Wove For Public Wear. 1867. Twain was reading this as he was working on
HF (Messent 74)
"You
must have a preface, Sut; your book will then be ready. What shall I
write?"
"Well,
ef I must, I must; fur I s'pose the perducktion cud no more show hitsef in
publick wifout hit, than a coffin-maker cud wif out black clothes, an' yet
what's the use ove either ove em, in pint ove good sense? Smells tu me sorter
like a durned humbug, the hole ove hit - a littil like cuttin ove the Ten
Cummandmints intu the rine ove a warter-million; hits jist slashed open an' the
inside et outen hit, the rine an' the cummandmints broke all tu pieces an'
flung tu the hogs, an' never tho't ove onst - them, nur the 'tarnil fool what
cut em thar. But ef a orthur mus' take off his shoes afore he goes intu
the publick's parlor, I reckon I kin du hit wifout durtyin my feet, fur I hes
socks on.
"Sumtimes,
George, I wishes I cud read an' write, jis' a littil; but then hits bes' es hit
am, fur ove all the fools the worild hes tu contend wif, the edicated wuns am
the worst; they breeds ni ontu all the devilment a-gwine on. But I wer
a-thinkin, ef I cud write mysef, hit wud then raley been my book. I jis'
tell yu now, I don't like the idear ove yu writin a perduckshun, an' me
a-findin the brains. 'Taint the fust case tho' on record by a durned site. Usin
ether men's brains is es lawful es usin thar plunder, an' jis' es common, so I
don't keer much nohow. I dusn't 'speck this yere perduckshun will
sit purfeckly quiet ontu the stumicks ove sum
pussons - them hu hes a holesum fear ove the devil, an' orter hev hit, by
geminey. Now, fur thar speshul well-bein herearter, I hes jis' this tu say: Ef
yu ain't fond ove the smell ove cracklins, stay outen the kitchin; ef yu is
fear'd ore smut, yu needn't climb the chimbley; an' ef the moon hurts yer eyes,
don't yu ever look at a Dutch cheese. That's jis' all ove hit.