Proofreading - Graphic Novels

Dr. Bordelon's Graphic Novel Course

Proofreading
Checklist | Words to Avoid | Sample Sentences | Cohesion: Transitions Between Sentences and Between Paragraphs | Make Your Computer Talk to You

Often confused with merely checking grammar and spelling, this is the careful attention to words and punctuation that separates the profound from the pedestrian (hint: go for profound). After you've completed your revision -- which focused on adding ideas, deleting wayward thoughts, adding explanations -- it's time to focus on the words: the way that you'll communicate with the reader.

Top two suggestions for proofreading? 1) slowly read your work out loud: if you sprain your tongue on a particular phrase, that's a sign it needs work, and 2) repeat #1 . . . repeatedly. For an interesting take on the kind of attention necessary when proofreading, see Pico Iyer's In Praise of the Humble Comma.

Proofreading Check List

Delete: Take out any words which aren’t needed
Clarify: Change any phrases that do not read clearly.
Engage reader: Add analogies, descriptions, examples, sharp phrasing to help readers “see” your point.
Cohesion: Use repetition to keep reader focused. Supply introductory phrases to quotes and use transitions to move readers through your ideas.

Words and Proofreading – it's not just commas anymore.

Use the following chart for suggestions of words to avoid in academic writing.

You/we	This suggests you're speaking directly to the reader. But what if your reader has no problems communicating? It can also lead to pronoun problems. Instead use people, a person, some, they, males, females, English professors, etc.
a lot	Too general for formal essays. Be specific. Instead use many, often, several, etc.
One	Avoid when using to refer to a person. Instead use A person, a man, a women, people, etc.
don't, won't	Avoid contractions in academic writing: a bit too informal. Instead use do not, etc.
the fact that	A bit wordy – one of those empty phrases that merely slow down the reader. Instead use Actually, you can usually completely eliminate this phrase
Being that	Awkward wording – sounds okay in oral speech, but usually doesn't work in standard written English Instead use Since, Because
in which	Can be awkward Instead use which or reword phrase

What to avoid
Peer reviewer, asking a question about a particular sentence: “What did you mean here?”
Student writer: “I don’t know. Honestly I just wrote”

The lesson? Write consciously: know why each word and/or sentence is included.

Before proofreading

Those experiences in Vietnam that Norman Booker could not get out of him, by simply telling a story, ate him inside, "three years later hanged himself in the locker room of a YMCA" (155).

After proofreading

Because he could not tell his story, the demons from Vietnam ate him inside: as the narrator sadly notes "three years later he hanged himself in the locker room of a YMCA" (155).

Which sentence is more persuasive? As noted in the proofreading comments above, it's often the words, not the punctuation, that needs work.

Wordiness
Sometimes, a single word can mess up a sentence:

These examples are from two different essays

By making up stories about everything that happened in Vietnam aids O'Brien in making sense of everything that still doesn't seem like reality to him.

By taking this trip back to Vietnam was a way to relieve his conscious of guilt for a friend's death that he felt was his fault.

In both of these cases, the "By" that opens the sentence ends up causing confusion. The solution? Easy: delete it.

Transitions within paragraphs
Let’s start with an example

Another way O’Brien truth is what is remembered and imagined is that imagination can be an extremely powerful aspect of a story. O’Brien insists that the unimaginable aspects of a story is the “truth” and the normal aspects are there to make the story believable. Since the war was so reluctant normal ideas are necessary to a story. “Often the crazy stuff is true and the normal stuff isn’t, because the normal stuff is necessary to make you believe the truly incredible craziness” (O’Brien 71). In fundamental nature it would be difficult to believe a war story unless there are practical characteristics that go collectively in the story. In truth nothing really has to be true, however, in essence these actions may have happened one time or another during the way, it may not have been O’Brien’s platoon but somewhere during the war these instances happened. “Tim O’Brien takes the act of trying to reveal and understand the uncertainties about the war one step further, by looking at it through the imagination” (Kaplan 383). According to O’Brien, these aspects are very well needed to make people feel the real drama of the war.

What’s the main point of this paragraph? Can you “follow” this writer’s argument?

Remember that when moving from sentence to sentence, readers must be able to follow your logic. This is accomplished by using transitions. The “This” in the previous sentence illustrates one way of knitting together your thinking/writing – and is an important word to keep in mind. By referring back to “follow your logic,” the “This” acts as a bridge, a connection between the two points you’re making in your sentences. Another way to make a connection is to use words like “another” (for a list of such words, see below). Connections can also be made by repetition, as in this sentence where I repeat the word “connection” from the previous sentence. Using repetition and transition words keep readers focused on the main topic of your paragraph/idea, which in turn makes it easier for readers to follow your logic.

By now you should be wondering, “well, how do I come up with effective transitions?” Easy. Working one paragraph at a time, develop/brainstorm a list of synonyms or words/phrases associated with the focus of that paragraph (Example? In a paragraph on “work” you might include words like job, wages, time-clock, employer, employee, labor, etc.). Keep this list handy as you revise/proofread, and be sure to insert these words throughout the paragraph.

List of Transition Words

Adding a point: furthermore, besides, finally, in addition to, for example
Emphasis: above all, indeed, in fact, in other words, most important, in particular
Time: then, afterwards, eventually, next, immediately, meanwhile, previously, already, often, since then, now, later,
usually,
Cause and Effect: as a result, therefore, thus, since, because of this, consequently
Examples: such as, for example, for instance, one example, as an illustration, in particular
Contrast: but, however, in contrast, instead, nevertheless, on the other hand, though, still, unfortunately, on the contrary, yet
Similarity: like, also, likewise, similarly, as
Compare: also, similarly, likewise, as well, both, in the same way
To concede a point: certainly, granted, of course, no doubt

Transitions between paragraphs
Between paragraphs, the best technique is to repeat a word or idea from the previous paragraph. As usual, this is best illustrated with an example. Take a look at the following:

(1) It’s these kinds of behaviors that make a person unlikable.
(2) In addition to his character flaws, the result of Sammy’s “heroic” deed make him a realistic hero.

Without even reading the paragraph 1, you can tell the subject of it was _________. That’s the advantage of repetition between paragraphs: you keep reminding the reader of your focus which means you keep reminding the reader of your argument, which means you keep your reader happy.

Make Your Computer Talk To You

What I find most difficult with proofreading is catching my own errors. That makes sense: I know what I want to say so I “magically” insert missing words or make corrections as I’m reading my own work.

Last year I started using the text to speech function in Word to help me undo this magic. It reads highlighted text out loud and helps me “hear” rough spots or grammatical errors. It has saved me from much embarrassment in emails and letters. The instructions to set this up for Word are on the web (Links to an external site.). If you don’t have Word, Macs have this same capability and there are several other programs on the web (Links to an external site.) that will do this as well. Give it a shot.

List of Transition Words

© David Bordelon