Being Known and Being Human: Emotional Connections in Poetry

What does spending the day folding laundry mean? What about helping someone move or buying someone an expensive gift? For some, it is a boring household chore or social responsibility. For others, it is an act of love. They can just be meaningless actions or they can be signals that someone cares. These personal connections, these acts of kindness, keep people thriving. It stops loneliness, it opens people up, and allows true intimacy to happen. This is a key characteristic of being human—knowing someone and being loved. That is why poets so often write about intimacy. J. Ross Eshleman, an author of sociology, and Dr. Juanne Clarke, a professor at Wilfrid Laurier University who focuses on social research, define intimacy as “any close association or friendship that involves informal warmth, openness, and sharing” (qtd. in Moss and Schwebel 32). Poets often get to the heart of the matter—they do not try to cover up true emotion. Poets could just as easily write that everything is fine and that they do not feel anything one way or another. It would be so much easier—imagine a poet writing a poem about someone she secretly loves and the subject finding it. That would be horrifying and embarrassing—but poets continue to write because it is human emotion. If poets were not going to be honest, it would be easier for them to never write anything at all. No one cares about what poets are pretending to feel, readers want true, unfiltered emotion. The scenario in poems may be fabricated, but the underlying feeling is not. Poets all over the world share their most intimate feelings, and their speaker’s most intimate feelings, with the world. This is evident in the British poet Wilfred Owen’s poem “Dulce et Decorum Est,” American poet Kim Addonizio’s “First Poem for You,” and “Beets” by Mihaela Moscaliuc, a Romanian poet. In these poems, intimacy is drawn from the speakers’ experiences of war, lust, and love.

Imagine a young woman in the 1960s: she’s faced with two choices. Choice one involves embracing the traditional suburban role of husband, home, and two and half kids. Her life will form a routine involving shopping, cooking, cleaning, and child care. In short, she can accept her role as a domesticated woman. Choice two involves taking it to the streets. Instead of accepting the status quo she can join the millions of other women who marched, burned their bras, and shook off the role of house-slave. Instead of standing in line at a grocery, she can embrace her anger and march on Washington, ERA sign in hand. But before choosing to conform or resist, she has to grow up and make sense of the world around them. This growth is on display in Paulette Jiles’ poem “Paper Matches,” which smolders with a “quiet anger” as the speaker realizes the inequities facing women (Mansbridge). Jiles’ references to family, small animals, and matches show a girl rejecting the gender inequality of home life and getting ready to march.

By questioning her position as a woman in her family, Jiles reveals her anger towards gender inequality. In the American 40’s and 50’s, women were expected to be exceptional housekeepers. Tending to children, tidying, and preparing meals were duties women were expected to complete without argument. While many women take joy in caring for a home and family, being forced to do so is unfair and degrading. The speaker of “Paper Matches” became angry because of her assigned role when she noticed the unequal treatment of her female family members. The poem begins with the speaker’s observation of her family’s dynamic – she states “My aunts washed dishes while the uncles squirted each other on the lawn with garden hoses” (1). Her aunt’s roles are similar to that of a maid, while “the uncles” play merrily outside. Stating “my aunts” but “the uncles” exposes the divide Jiles felt as woman compared to the men of her family, revealing the inequality’s she already begun to experience at home (1). Using “the” rather than “my” exposes the level of resentment Jiles has towards her own family members because of their privilege as males (1). Jiles’ resentment and anger indicates the level of inequality she faced in her own home; a level high enough to warrant the separation of herself from the males in her family. 

Jiles’ anger is also revealed through her and her aunt’s position inside the home. While washing dishes with her aunts and observing her uncles play outside with hoses, the speaker asked "why are we in here... and they are out there" (3). Her questioning - especially her observation of “the uncle’s” freedom to play outside while she had to work - reveals the speaker’s anger growing in regards to her entrapment indoors (1). Because women were expected to care for their family’s home, they did not have the luxury to go outside, play in the sun, and relax in their own dwelling. They had to constantly work to keep their home pristine – or face judgment from friends, family, and society in general. Jiles’ questioning of her forced position inside reveals her annoyance towards her uncles, as their freedom to play outside emphasizes how unfair the expectation for women to constantly work indoors was. Later, the speaker’s "Aunt Hetty" expressed that "that’s the way it is," suggesting her acceptance of her repressed role (5). The speaker regarded her aunt as "the shriveled up one," which supports the idea that the speaker believes her aunt has been defeated by her oppression, and has come to accept it (6). The speaker does not accept her aunts answer as she compares her own “rages” to that of a small animal, proving that her role in her family causes her anger because of the inequalities she faces in it. The speaker's anger towards gender inequality is revealed through her own unequal treatment in her family

Thesis: Although some readers interpret Blake’s poetry as devoutly religious, it really is against religion.  Blake raises doubt in “The Tyger” by having his speakers question religion through ambiguity in pronouns, omission of words, and god’s role in evil.

“The Tyger” also evokes a questioning tone towards religion by ommitting a key figure: god. In poetry word choice is imperative to convey a deeper meaning. If a writer chooses to put a specific word or phrase there is a reason. Conversely, if a writer leaves out a word it is also significant. In “The Tyger,” Blake chooses to leave the word "god" out of the poem all together. This is significant because it is a poem that talks about creation. To leave god out of it suggests doubt by omission. In addition to leaving god out, the speaker asks eleven unanswered questions in “The Tyger.” Questions are significant because they signify that the speaker is uncertain about the answer. Through a religious context, “The Tyger” sets forth questions which equate to doubt to the answers provided by the church. Questioning the answers given by the church is the first step to questioning the institution as a whole. These types of questions contribute to the tone of “The Tyger.” Songs of Experience, the collection that “The Tyger is published in is described as, “dark, cynical, and angry because society has destroyed the ideal world of innocence” (Stade and Karbiener). The tone is “dark, cynical, and angry” because it does not attempt to give answers to the questions it raises. In fact, it avoids mentioning the central character in Christianity: God. Religion tends to try and sugar coat these answers and look to a higher authority in order to keep its followers happy. Blake keeps his tone dark and uncertain to avoid this doctrine. By doing this Blake is holding his poetry to a higher standard of truth than organized religions. He is encouraging his audience to find truth in literature rather than in sermons.

Thesis: Poets all over the world share their most intimate feelings, and their speaker’s most intimate feelings, with the world. This is evident in the British poet Wilfred Owen’s poem “Dulce et Decorum Est,” American poet Kim Addonizio’s “First Poem for You,” and “Beets” by Mihaela Moscaliuc, a Romanian poet. In these poems, intimacy is drawn from the speakers’ experiences of war, lust, and love.

Intimacy is not only found in war—the apparent lust in Addonizio’s poem shows the speaker’s desire for a more intimate relationship. Sex is one of the most intimate acts people can do. When she gives her body to another, she is trusting her partner when she is at her most vulnerable. However, when people express their emotions honestly with each other, a deeper sense of intimacy is achieved. This is what Addonizio’s speaker wants: she and her partner have satisfied their relationship on a physical level—the desires of the flesh—and now she wants to satiate a deeper need. The couple’s relationship has clearly survived on their physical intimacy, but now they must reach the next level—love or romantic intimacy. The speaker already suggests a future. However, she does not say flat out in the poem that she desires a committed, serious relationship. While touching her lover’s tattoos, she thinks of the ultimatum: their relationship will either “persist” or “turn to pain” (11-12). The reader understands that the speaker prefers one over the other, though. The speaker still touches the tattoos “trying”—trying for a future, trying to make the relationship work, trying to turn their lust into something more (14). Their physical relationship clearly shows that they know each other intimately which lends itself to sexual attraction, or lust, but it is also clear that the couple is missing that mutual affection and desire for a deeper relationship. If the speaker was entirely comfortable with her lover, she would have a better understanding of his potential reciprocation. Her uncertainty in the relationship allows the reader to understand what is still missing. The speaker has already shown her partner where she is most vulnerable physically, and now she needs to show where she is vulnerable emotionally.

agree
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believe
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claim
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conclude
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declare
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discover
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explain
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indicate
reinforce
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This ____ suggests that _______
They indicate the ____
This emphasis on finding ______ suggests that ___________
Connected to this ____ is the notion _______.
By explaining _____, the _______ is reinforced/clarified/revealed.
The connotations of ____ suggest/illustrates/reveals that _______.
The literary critic ____ argues that this _____ is crucial. He/she writes that ___
Supporting this idea of the war as an oppressive force, the narrator adds __________
The description reinforces the idea that ______.