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Explaining Quotes | Camping Out on a Quote | Revision | Proofreading

Planning and Drafting

Quotes and Explanation

Explaining Quote Suggestions
Explain how quote is connected to the topic sentence -- focus on the language used: consider the following

  • Connotation of specific words
  • Symbolism of imagery, tone [sarcasm, irony, humor, etc.]
  • Psychology/motivation of a character
  • Analogies
  • "If . . . then" sentence patterns
  • Historical Connections
  • Contrast or comparison
  • Definitions of word
  • Try using a verb from the following list to shift into argument (see Verb List page for sample sentences using these words)

    agree argue
    believe charge
    claim
    comment conclude consider

    criticize declare
    describe define
    discover
    emphasize explain
    feels

    illustrate imply indicate
    reinforce
    reveals
    shows
    suggests
    supports

    Sample sentences might follow these patterns

This ____ suggests that _______
They indicate the ____
This emphasis on finding ______ suggests that
Supporting this idea of the sea as female, the narrator adds _______
The description reinforces the idea that ______


Camping Out on a Quote
Below you'll find a sentences from body paragraph on "Shiloh."  Focus on the changes made in explaining the quote from the rough draft to the revision.

Rough Draft

In addition, Norma frequently doesn't answer Leroy's questions but brings up other subjects.  For example, Mason shows Norma's lack of communication when she doesn’t answer Leroy after he questions, "Am I still king around here?" (620). Instead of telling Leroy what she is feeling, Norma avoids telling her husband how it is.  


After the quote, the writer starts an explanation, but it seems more is needed.  Readers would ask "Okay, but how would this lead to problems?"

The revision answers this question.

Final Draft

In addition, Norma frequently doesn't answer Leroy's questions but brings up other subjects.  For example, Mason shows Norma's lack of communication when she doesn’t answer Leroy after he asks her, "Am I still king around here?" (620). Instead of telling Leroy what she is feeling, Norma avoids directly answering the question and instead tells him “I’m not fooling around with anyone” (620).  This avoidance can lead to problems because she adopts a defensive tone, and in the process, brings up the idea of infidelity.  If Leroy hadn’t been thinking about that, he certainly is now, and this distrust, along with the antagonism of her defensiveness, can lead to tensions in a relationships.  These are the kind of stresses that can tear a couple apart.


Here the writer addresses the problems of the couple's communication breakdown by making Norma's lack of response clearer with a quote and then following out what this response could lead to -- particularly, how it could create problems.  The "This _____" structure works well here because it forces the writer/reader to look back and explain what was this said.  Similarly the "If ____" sentence format allows the writer to speculate probably effects, leaving the reader with an idea of the ramifications of the communication misfires.  The final "These ____" sentences brings the reader back to the topic sentence.

This example shows how "camping out" on a quote by using simple sentence starters can address the "I know what this means but can't explain it" part of writing/revising.

Revision

Proofreading

Follow these steps, bake at 350° for 2 hours (or however long it takes you work on the paragraph) and viola' a completed body paragraph, suitable for company.

 

© David Bordelon 2017